July 03
Sitting here
I have already turned into a pumpkin over 90 minutes ago so what am I still doing here? I am sitting here contemplating life. Oh god, not again! Yep and I can consider myself lucky that I am sitting here with a roof over my head, food in my belly my kids and animals sleeping with me mostly wide awake.
I have had some recent two steps forward one step back shit going on and I thought I would share. Share at least with the bits and bites on the computer, lord know if anyone will ever read this or not. The kids bless their little DNA hearts have been gearing up for the last three months. Fighting and complaining with each other and to me. Call it spring, call it hormones call it June 18, the anniversary of John’s passing. Whatever the reason? It is driving me crazy. It has also been tear jerking without tears and scary and calling the police for transgressions over the norm.
I need time off. I am not just talking time away to go to Safeway. However, Safeway and shopping can be a vacation of sorts. OK, I am sick see, I sing to the music in the aisles. I am having fun almost dancing. I check out the men, single? married? working or off work, who wants to flirt? anyone? please? some one flirt I need to know if my pilot light is working. Blow in my ear pinch me I don’t care. Thank god for the internet and men who like to type. Give me a cam and a phone and I am good. It is not the best thing but it is close.
Now next let’s be real … I hate people who have no idea what my life is going through and I may not know what you are but I try to be above-board when I talk to my men friends. When I started chatting online my husband knew it and even talked with the guys I talked to … I do not expect all men to do so but I know a few whose wives and girlfriends are aware … those that do not tell.. or talk about it … it is up to them not me …but I refuse to be unable to talk to a guy just because he is married or single. Hey these guys help me ( don’t go rolling your eyes … I know what you are thinking… lol I am sitting here going no way …. we talked about kids the dog the spouse maybe just maybe we talked about fixing whatever was wrong in the relationship … and then yes your guys are the best … cyber sex can rule…
It is great for what it is but just like Billy Joel writes … it’s just a fantasy and you need to give them the real thing. All I can say is thanks for the loan and you get the interest.
2:06 AM |
Hottiegurl 